My old man's a Fighter, what do you think about that?
He wears a fighter's tabard, he wears a fighter's hat.
He wears a fighter's tunic, he wears a fighter's shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he reads the daily news,

And some day, if I can.
I'm going to be a fighter, the same as my old man.

My old man's a Baron, what do you think about that?
He wears a Baron's tabard, he wears a nice gold hat.
He wears a Baron's tunic, and he wears leather shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, some one reads him the news

And some day, if I can
I'm going to be a Baron, the same as my old man.

My old man's the King! What do you think about that?
He wears a kingdom tabard, he wears a point hat
He wears embroidered tunics, and he wears pointy shoes.
And every day at Pennsic, he makes the front page news.

And some day, if I can
I'm going to be the King, the same as my old man.

My old man's a Pelican, what do you think about that?
He'll help you make a tabard; he'll help you make a hat
He'll help sew you a tunic, he'll help you cobble shoes
And every day at Pennsic, he helps put out the news

And some day, if I can
I'm going to be a Pelican, and help out my old man.

My old man's a Laurel, what do you think about that?
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented tabard,
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented hat
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented tunic
He wears a completely authenticated, fully documented shoes
And every day at Pennsic, He refuses to read the Pennsic Independent,
Because his Persona would not have been able to understand English.

And some day, if I can
I'm going to be a Laurel, and criticize my old man.

My old man's a stick jock, what do you think about that?
He wears faded blue jeans, he wears a baseball cap
He wears a dirty tee shirt, and white Nike shoes,
And every day at Pennsic, he fights.

And some day, if I can
I'm going to be a stick jock, and beat up my old man.