Crash Orange: Page 02

OUR HERO, CRASH ORANGE, HAD MANY HEROES OF HIS OWN, AS A CHILD. HE WANTED TO SHOW US FOUR OF THEM IN THIS ISSUE.


CAPIN BILLY JOE DON BLICK. Our research team can find no information on Captain Blick,otherthanhewastheregimentalbarber and a "heck of a fine baritone."	COMMANDING GENERAL ALEXANDRI "TY" RASKOLNIKOV, General of All the Csarists Armies. let's face it, "Ty" was a sissie. His c 5 lwa tered in the cold. Forcibly re- tiyreed.ataugyshtwsachool. Chalk dust caused eyes to water more than frontal cold.

LIEUT. COLONEL J. ARDEN SCHUTRAPP*. A military genius who had every great military battle, with footnotes, tattooed on his chest. His battle cry was "Walk noisey, carry a big stick, and bonk anyone on the noggin who looks 1ike a troublemaker."	MAJOR GENERAL FRITZ KARL MAX ERNST YON KRAUSKUPT was known as the Mad Butcherof Prussia.Krauskupt was discharged from the army, after two weeks service, when it was discovered that he was a butcher in civilian life, from Prussia, and he was, indeed, quite mad. Forced his troops, 25,000, to wear into battle tunics with "Krauskupt's Butcher Shop" ernblazoned on the back.

*This is not Lieut. Col. Sebutrapp. This is an old man who used to "cut-t hru" Crash Orange's yard, when Crash was a boy. The old man would, on occasion, thrash thru the Orange's melon patch, thunking and stopping on melons. He did great harm, this old man, and is not worthy of the name hero.

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