Kind sir I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
For at the time of writing you I'm not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to tell you why I'm not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a hight, was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is a novel sod
He said I'd have to cart them down the lader in me hod

Now moving all these bricks by hand it was so mighty slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
O I shot up like a rocket, till to my dismay I found
that half way up, I met the flaming barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder, as to the ground it sped
And at the top I slammed into the pulley with me head
I clung on tightly numbed with shock from that all mighty blow
And the barrel spilled out half the bricks some fourteen floors below

Now when the brick had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then out-weighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
And half way down I met the flaming barrel once again

The force of this collision half way down the office-block
Caused multiple abrasion and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I sped towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round

As I lay there groaning on the floor I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel struck the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn't have a hope
As I laid there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel being heavy it started down once more
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I'd just like to say
That I hope you'll understand why I am not at work today