He was short and fat and rode out of the west,
with a mochan david on his silver vest.
He was mean and nasty right clear through,
which was kind of wierd cause he was yellow too.

They called him Irving,
Big-Irving,
Big-Short-Irving,
Big-Short-Fat-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west.

He came from the old barmitfa spread,
with a ten gallon Yalmika on his head.
He allways followed his mother's wishes,
even on the range he used two sets of dishes.

Irving,
Big-Fat-Irving,
Big-Sisy-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west.

A hundred and forty one could draw faster than he,
but Irving was looking for one forty three.
Walked into Saul's saloon like a man insain,
and ordered three fingers of twocents plain.

Irving,
Big-Fat-Irving,
Big-Sport-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west.

One day Bad Max happened into town,
his aim was to shoot Fat Irving down.
Bad Max said draw and draw right now,
and Irving drew, drew a picture of a cow.

Irving,
Big-Fat-Irving,
Big-Gunfighter-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west.

The James Boys was comin' on a train at first sun,
and the town said "Irving we need your gun!"
When that train pulled in at the break of dawn,
Iving's gun was there but Irving was gone.

Irving,
Big-Fat-Irving,
Big-Help-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west.

Well finaly Irving got three slugs in the belly,
it right outside the frontier deli.
He was sittin' there twirlin' his gun around,
then Butter-fingers-Irving gunned himself down.

Irving,
Big-Fat-Irving,
Big-Dumb-Dumb-Irving,
Big-Dumb-Dumb-Dead-Irving,
The hundred and forty second fastest gun in the west,
REALLY