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Ragnar's Tom Lehrer Song Book |
| New Math | |
| from: That was the Year that was - 1965 |
|
Some of you who have small children may have perhaps been put in the embarrassing
position of being unable to do your child's arithmetic homework because of
the current revolution in mathematics teaching known as the New Math. So
as a public service here tonight, I thought I would offer a brief lesson
in the New Math. Tonight, we're gonna cover subtraction. This is the first
room I've worked for a while that didn't have a blackboard, so we will have
to make do with more primitive visual aids, as they say in the ed biz. Consider
the following subtraction problem, which I will put up here: 342 minus 173.
Now, remember how we used to do that:
Three from two is nine, carry the one, and if you're under 35 or went to a private school, you say seven from three is six, but if you're over 35 and went to a public school, you say eight from four is six ...and carry the one, so we have 169. But in the new approach, as you know, the important thing is to understand what you're doing, rather than to get the right answer. Here's how they do it now:
Now, that actually is not the answer that I had in mind, because the book that I got this problem out of wants you to do it in base eight. But don't panic! Base eight is just like base ten really - if you're missing two fingers! Shall we have a go at it? Hang on... You can't take three from two, Two is less than three, So you look at the four in the eights place. Now that's really four eights, So you make it three eights, Regroup, and you change an eight to eight ones And you add 'em to the two, And you get one-two base eight, Which is ten base ten, And you take away three, that's seven. Ok? Now instead of four in the eights place You've got three, 'Cause you added one, That is to say, eight, to the two, But you can't take seven from three, So you look at the sixty-fours... |
"Sixty-four? How did sixty-four get into it?" I hear you cry! Well, sixty-four is eight squared, don't you see? "Well, ya ask a silly question, ya get a silly answer!"
From the three, you then use one
To make eight ones,
You add those ones to the three,
And you get one-three base eight,
Or, in other words,
In base ten you have eleven,
And you take away seven,
And seven from eleven is four!
Now go back to the sixty-fours,
You're left with two,
And you take away one from two,
And that leaves...?
Now, let's not always see the same hands!
One, that's right.
Whoever got one can stay after the show and clean the erasers.
Hooray for New Math,
New-hoo-hoo Math!
It won't do you a bit of good to review math.
It's so simple,
So very simple,
That only a child can do it!
Come back tomorrow night...we're gonna do fractions!
Y'know, I've often thought I'd like to write a mathematics textbook someday
because I have a title that I know will sell a million copies; I'm gonna
call it Tropic of Calculus.*
Notes
*A reference to Henry Miller's erotic novels,
Tropic of Cancer, and Tropic of Capricorn