The year was A.S. twenty-six, I wish I was in Ealdormere
When Invites came down from the king,
That Ealdormere might go Pennsicing

      God damn them all, Who asked me here
      To take the soil for Ealdormere
      We'd lead no charge, take no blows
      Now I've a broken shield and a fractured nose
      The first to come the first to go.

The Marshal called the canton wide, I wish I was in Ealdormere
For 40 brave knights with weapons and arms,
With never a chance of pain or harm

The Pennsic field was a sickening mire, I wish I was in Ealdormere
It rained for a week coming down in jugs,
You couldn't see the trees for mosquitos and bugs

We fought in groups and one to one, I wish I was in Ealdormere
I scored good hits, they counted them none,
I dropped my sword, I wanted a gun.

Our foes were drawn by casting lots, I wish I was in Ealdormere
A twelve foot monster's what I got,
He dwarfed the pole-arm that I brought.

At last we both commenced to fight, I wish I was in Ealdormere
I circled 'round and 'round the field,
But I couldn't see his body for his big war shield