We went down south last August, In a bucket made of rust
Put sixteen tones of Gear Inside a car we couldn't trust
Our garb and our pavilion, Suits of armor, sharpened steel
We wondered if we'd ever make the field.
We headed for the Queensway, So much was on our mind
What would the custom guard say? What did we leave behind?
When we groaned up to the Peace Bridge, It caused us to proclaim
That we'd never go to Pennsic, not again

      Not again, not again
      Till food falls from the sky and beer comes down like rain
      Though those who love it most may bug us till the end
      No! we'll never go to Pennsic, not again

There were fifteen-hundred cars and trucks In every border line
They were pulling apart the Mayor's car, What would they do to mine?
My god, we're all in garb! Oh no, My passports still at home
They'll think we're viking raiders out to roam
Acting normal's difficult In tunics, wraps, and skins
We looked like some satanic cult, They'd never let us in
We'd spent hours in the line up, And we couldn't turn away
But we'd never go to Pennsic, not again

With just 2 cars before us, We were nearly at the gate
A sickening fear came over us Too painful to relate
The guard he saw us coming Through the corner of his eye
He quickly waved the other drivers by
But he waved us in, All a grin, smiling ear to ear
"Why are you leaving Canada, What are you doing here?"
"We're camping in New Castle," I said, like I'd been trained
But I'll never go to Pennsic not again.

He called us out so he could see, The papers that we had
Asked a hundred million questions Till I thought I would go mad
But when he saw my pain, He said "my Noble Gentle Lord"
Greetings from the Khan of the Dark Hord
My friend, Customs adversity has dealt its final blow
Journey freely into camp I'll seek you when I go
Set up, then seek out my tent, And leave behind your strain
And we'll make you enjoy Pennsic once again

      Once again once again,
      Where food tasted so good and his beer fell down like rain
      After going once I must go to war again
      And we'll all go to Pennsic, once again.